So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
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