yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
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