Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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