my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
