Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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