I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
