So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
