I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
