Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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