I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize