tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
