I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
