The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
