I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
