508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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