brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
