WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
We got so high we made milksteak
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
