Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
