Rock
Scissors
Fuck
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
so let's talk penis.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize
