me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Randomize
