To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
