You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Randomize
