For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Damn victory sex feels great
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
