I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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