i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
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