If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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