Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
