The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
