just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize
