Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Walk of Shame today included voting.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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