I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Randomize
