I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize
