In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize
