i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize