somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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