So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Randomize
