Pregnant stripper...not hot.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
