I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
