I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Randomize
