hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
