that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
