I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
