I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
