you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Randomize
