I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
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