so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Randomize
