I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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