Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
