Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Floor bacon is actually really good
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
