apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Randomize
