Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Randomize
