Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
