i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
