I just saw a hot homeless man
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
