ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
