No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Randomize
