I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
