hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Randomize
